When teaching yoni yoga or tantra I often receive questions about numbness, usually inside of the vagina.
If this is something you experience (,and many women do,) I hope this can be a useful resource for you.
The cause:
Numbness comes from pain, friction, a lack of neuro pathways orrrr you just might not be warmed up yet!
- Not having the right manual:
Us pussy owners have a lot of figuring out to do! Rarely do we find an honest representation of the female eros in the media or our surroundings! We might end up engaging in activities we think are normal or should be enjoyable without being aware of what our pussy is really asking for.
Research has found it to take at least 45 min for the tissue of a pussy to become FULLY aroused. In my opinion this varies a bit from woman to woman, and depends on mood and cycle to name a few. Yet this is a good guideline to keep in mind. If you are going into penetrative sex within 10, 20 or 30 minutes, your pussy is most likely not ready. And as a result your body will decrease sensitivity.
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Pain:
Our body has a wisdom in desensitizing and sensitizing areas. When thinking of childbirth we can see how this mechanism helps us. And though it may frustrate us; the numbness is there for a reason!
Pain makes us want to disconnect from the painful area in our bodies, which will lead to less sensitivity and awareness over time. Pain will also cause a tensing of the area, which is the body's way of creating a protective layer.
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Friction:
Think of calluses that form if you keep rubbing a soft area.
The more we increase stimuli from the outside, the more we are actually overwhelming our system to eventually tune out part of the stimuli. In turn we end up needing more and more friction to reach the same amount of pleasure.
We most often see this kind of touch when someone is chasing a high. The touch is actually no longer attuned to the body, but connected to a goal in the mind.
Re-sensitizing:
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Presence:
You want to become attuned to yourself as a whole being, notice the subtleties of crossing your own boundaries. Bring awareness to tightness, numbness and pain. Bringing your awareness to these areas will stimulate the neuro pathways connected to the numb area. You will start to notice more about the why, when and where of numbness.
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Relaxation:
When the nervous system has an activation of fight/ flight energy your pussy will become tense, this tensing is part of the defense mechanism creating numbness, so relaxation is really key here.
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Relax your nervous system through long exhales, sounding during the full exhale.
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Set a timer to be present moment to moment without any goal; explore!
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Invite slowness & stillness into your practice. Breath, feel, sound, and welcome emotions as they surface.
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